Infidelity can hurt but does not necessarily mean the end of your relationship. The trust within the relationship is broken and at least one person will feel extremely wounded.
We know that many affairs cause breakups but with the help of counselling, this can also mean a new beginning, reconnection and renewal. Sometimes the hardest thing to come to terms with is a mutual acceptance of responsibility. There are many causes of an affair, including; dissatisfaction, middle life crises, issues with intimacy or looking for what seems to be missing in the relationship. Sometimes it is not about lack of love: it might be that one partner seeks excitement, fulfilment and aliveness from outside of the relationship even if they love their partner and want to stay in the relationship.
The world around us is changing fast, including how we connect and relate with each other as the landscape of relationships continues to evolve. It may be the case that you are in a committed relationship with a partner but struggle with communication, being yourself and with speaking your own truths.
After the inevitable shock, you may come to counselling as you have made a decision that your relationship is important and now needs more than ever, commitment and attention. After a betrayal nothing looks the same; it is very true that there is an ending of the relationship as you know it.
Each partner might reactive, confused, guilty, angry, stressed and fearful that the relationship is over. Counsellor at Leone Centre are aware of the high levels of stress and apprehension of a couple starting counselling after an affair, infidelity and betrayal are revealed. Very difficult at this point to see the potential for a new beginning..
At Leone Centre, counselling after infidelity, cheating or betrayal can help you understanding, reframing and look into a future with integrity, mutual responsibility and choice. Re-visioning the relationship and the individual needs and wants within the counselling process, can help a couple recover, moving forwards and make informed choices towards a healthier relationship with selves and partners.
Relationship or couples counselling after cheating infidelity can help you grieve the relationship as you knew it, heal and move forward in your relationship or separately.
What Is Infidelity?
Partners will have different beliefs on what infidelity entails and this can make it difficult to seek help or even express feelings of disappointment or insecurity.
Infidelity and betrayal is a vast, complex and subjective field and people have different definitions of what an affair might mean. Emotional infidelity or betrayal can mean that one partner is emotionally absent and disassociated from the relationship whilst fulfilling emotional needs elsewhere, outside of the marriage or relationship. There is often a common ground in the understanding of what a physical affair and sexual infidelity mean, and will also be subjective in each individual relationship,
However, cheating can occur online, or flirting via text messages without the unfaithful partner ever having met the other in real life. Those who are dissatisfied with their relationship may use online forums or chatrooms as an escape or a way to actively seek explicit conversation with an online partner.
Counselling after infidelity or an affair will help establish what both partners consider an affair to be. Moving forward, this sets expectations and boundaries within the relationship to ensure both partners are happy and feel safe.
Affairs can occur even in the happiest and most successful relationship. Infidelity does not necessarily mean your relationship is over, in fact, the Guardian reports that many relationships are strengthened after an affair has been discovered.
How To Survive Infidelity In A Relationship?
Both partners will need to understand what caused the affair. Counselling after infidelity can help both partners make sense of their distancing from each other and to consider the overall dynamics in the relationship.
Infidelity can have a deep knock-on effect on the confidence of both partners in the relationship; many struggle with guilt, blame, anger, resentment, denial and confusion. If both partners are committed to the process and are willing to explore the catalyst or causes of an affair, it is possible to overcome the wounding of infidelity in a relationship.
Counselling after infidelity will encourage honesty and transparency. Couples are given a secure environment to share and work through what happened in the run-up and during the affair. At the Leone Centre, we help both partners tell their story and listen to each other in a supportive and constructive way.
Couples going through the emotional trials of infidelity are also likely to experience:
- Reactiveness and anxiety
- Self-esteem and confidence issues
- Anger and resentment
- Low libido or impotence
- Loss of vision for their future
- Stress-induced symptoms of other physical concerns
It may be hard to recover sexual momentum, intimate affection and an ability to be vulnerable with your partner. Counselling will help both partners to be real but considerate and gentle with themselves and each other.
If there are irreconcilable differences and both partners agree that their vision, desires and what they need from the relationship are different, the Leone Centre will help you work on separation with respect, consideration for yourselves and each other. Our divorce counselling services are available to help also managing co-parenting and throughout the overall transitional process.
The Leone Centre highly welcomes, values and works with individuals and couples from all backgrounds, with innermost regard towards personal identity, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, culture, ethnicity and age.
For more information about counselling after infidelity and appropriate routes for moving forwards, contact the experienced team at the Leone Centre for an initial consultation.