Therapy Blog

Q&A Session with counsellor Lynn Buckley

Posted on Friday, October 21st, 2022 by Cristina Vrech

Lynn Buckley is a highly experienced, UKCP-accredited Sexual and Relationship Therapist. In this question-and-answer session, she discusses her background, her inspirations and some of the major misconceptions about psychosexual counselling.

Why did you decide to become a Therapist?

I have spent many years in the NHS, working as a cancer nurse specialist. Working in cancer care made me realise that there were a lot of psychosexual issues associated with the illness. In many cases, there is nobody available to help with support or advice.

How does your background contribute to your role as a Therapist?

Seeing the effects of cancer gave me a superb understanding of the psychological and physical issues linked to the disease, including the consequences of treatment on people’s sex and intimate lives. It enabled me to help people take the necessary steps to get assistance. 

Why did you decide to specialise in Psychosexual Therapy?

I identified a gap in the market. In my time at the NHS, I conducted a lot of research and wrote papers on sex and cancer. I discovered that there is a huge issue with people being open to asking about sexual issues. Research suggests that even though up to 80% of patients had an issue with their sex lives, very few sought or received help. Although my desire to become a psychosexual therapist was driven by cancer survivorship my training covered all areas of psychosexual therapy and I was hooked. Psychosexual therapy is actually a broad topic that covers many different areas, including male and female sexual difficulties, difficulties as a result of sexual trauma, compulsive sexual behaviour and much more.

Which particular areas are you most passionate about and why?

It’s hard to pick just a few, as I find all areas of the topic very interesting. But if I had to select just three, I’d go for trauma recovery, supporting clients who want to explore gender sexual and relationship diversity (GSRD) and sexual rehabilitation following illness. 

What is a common misconception about Psychosexual Therapy?

That it’s purely about physical sex. There is so much more to it than that, psychosexual problems are mostly psychological and/or emotional, they can lead to or be caused by physical problems. It’s a talking therapy, it includes psychosexual education, and you will most likely be given homework exercises to do as well!

Are there any particular subjects which people don’t talk about enough?

In my opinion all of it, but I talk about sex every day! I think it can be very difficult to talk about sex and common to think you are the only person with a problem.

Do you have a favourite therapy-related quote?

‘Let’s talk dirty’! The majority of swear words are related to sex or genitals. This can create a misconception about sex and make it an awkward topic to discuss. This shouldn’t be the case, there’s nothing wrong with openly talking about sex. 

What would you say to anyone who is considering Psychosexual Therapy?

If you have an issue that is bothering you, seek help as soon as you can, otherwise, the problem will only get worse. You’ve got nothing to lose, and it could make a big positive difference to your life. 

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