We are not just individuals; we are shaped by our relationships, by the people who raise us, the culture we come from, and the stories we tell.
– Dr. Esther Perel, Psychotherapist
In a world more interconnected than ever before, families are no longer shaped by a single cultural narrative.
Children grow up straddling multiple worlds and generational parenting differences — the traditions of their parents, the pace of their peers, the values of their family’s country of origin and the realities of the society where they live now. It’s a delicate dance, often marked by tension, misunderstanding and deep love.
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As these children grow into adulthood and become parents themselves, they face the complex task of honouring the past whilst creating new parenting approaches that reflect their own values, lived experiences and the diverse world their children are growing up in.
At the heart of many family conflicts lies a clash between cultural heritage and modern values, between intergenerational expectations and evolving identities. While love within families may be unconditional, communication often is not. This is where therapy can offer a powerful and inclusive path forward. By providing tools for empathy, clarity and connection, therapy becomes a bridge — helping families navigate differences, heal misunderstandings and build relationships rooted in mutual respect and understanding across both cultural and generational lines.
Understanding Generational and Cultural Differences: A Lens into Parenting and Belonging
In every family, there are at least three stories unfolding at once: the story of where we come from, the story of where we are and the story of who we are becoming. These stories don’t always align neatly. They often speak different emotional dialects, shaped by shifting generational expectations and cultural worldviews.
What Do We Mean by Generational and Cultural Differences?
Generational differences are the shifts in beliefs, values and emotional norms that occur from one age group to the next. Each generation adapts to the world it inherits, internalising what seems necessary for survival, acceptance or love. These adaptations shape not only our behaviours, but also how we interpret the behaviours of others. Your grandmother may have believed in stoicism as strength. Your mother, in self-sacrifice as love. You may be striving for emotional attunement and boundaries as a form of care.
Cultural differences, meanwhile, are shaped by the societies and systems in which we are raised — be it collectivist or individualist, patriarchal or egalitarian, hierarchical or fluid. Culture influences how we show affection, define respect, resolve conflict and assert independence. It shapes our internal compass—quietly instructing us on how relationships should function, how we honour our elders, and what it means to succeed. It whispers the rules of emotional engagement long before we know we’re playing the game. And so, a family may share a table—but speak entirely different emotional dialects.
When culture and generation intersect, parenting becomes a site where these differences are most pronounced. What one generation sees as devotion, another may experience as control. What feels like love to one may feel like pressure to another. Cultural identity is intimately tied to our upbringing—what roles we play, which emotions are permitted, and how we learn to express care, pride or respect. When these definitions shift across generations, connection can turn to confusion. Parenting becomes a negotiation between inherited values and emerging needs.
The Impact on Parenting and Family Relationships
Parenting does not happen in a vacuum. It is a living dialogue between past and present — a constant act of translation, where inherited values are either lovingly preserved or urgently rewritten. A parent who once lived under the weight of judgment may adopt control as a form of protection. Meanwhile, a child raised in a different cultural context may see freedom, emotional openness and questioning as natural expressions of love — traits that, to their parents, may feel destabilising or even disrespectful. The intention is rarely to hurt, but the impact often does.
The rise of “gentle parenting” — often viewed as a modern or even radical approach — reflects a broader cultural shift. Empathy is no longer seen as indulgent; it’s a core value. But this shift doesn’t always translate smoothly across generations or cultures. Within one household, there may be three layers of cultural memory: grandparents shaped by the homeland they left behind; parents who straddle two worlds, translating tradition into new realities; and children growing up in a culture that feels familiar to them, yet increasingly distant from their lineage.
These layers are not just cultural — they’re generational. Each generation carries its own relationship to identity, belonging and survival. What one sees as stability, another may see as suppression. What one considers respectful, another might view as emotionally distant. Parenting choices, then, rarely exist in isolation — they often become proxies for deeper questions of loyalty, identity and meaning.
Culture also influences the involvement of extended family, shaping expectations around authority, caregiving and who gets a say in how a child is raised. Sometimes, the most personal decisions — how you discipline your child, what language you speak at home, how you express affection — can become the most political.
These tensions can surface in small, everyday moments:
- A parent insisting on obedience, while a teenager pushes for autonomy
- A grandparent confused by therapy talk and boundary-setting
- A child feeling unseen or misunderstood, not because love is absent, but because love is being expressed in a dialect they don’t recognise.
This is where families become emotionally multilingual — or emotionally estranged.
In therapy, we don’t just examine what is said. We explore what it means to each person. We decode emotional logic across generations, not to erase the differences, but to bring compassion and understanding to them.
Because healing doesn’t require us to choose between tradition and change. It asks us to hold both with respect, with curiosity and with the courage to evolve.
The Role of Therapy in Bridging Generational Parenting Gaps
At Leone Centre, we offer integrative therapy—an approach that draws on a range of psychological theories and cultural perspectives. This makes us uniquely equipped to support families navigating cultural and generational divides.
Whether through individual, couples or family therapy, we help bridge parenting differences rooted in culture, values and life experience.
Here’s how therapy can support families and parents facing these challenges:
- Creates a Safe, Neutral Space
Therapy offers a supportive, non-judgmental environment where each family member can feel heard and respected. It can soften defensiveness and open the door to genuine curiosity. For parents from different cultural backgrounds or even generational differences where there is an age gap, this safe space can be key to bridging misunderstandings and encouraging mutual understanding.
- Names the Unspoken
Through guided dialogue, therapy can help uncover the underlying values behind parenting behaviours. It often reveals that, despite differences in culture or generation, each parent is ultimately motivated by love—just expressed in different ways.
- Validates Multiple Truths
Instead of taking sides, therapy explores the validity in each perspective. It becomes less about who is right and more about what each person needs.
- Introduces Shared Language
Many families struggle to express what they feel, often because they lack the language to do so. In some cases, literal language barriers also play a role. Therapy introduces new vocabulary—such as empathy, boundaries and reparenting—to encourage deeper understanding and more meaningful communication.
- Repairs Intergenerational Wounds
Sometimes the patterns we carry are inherited, unexamined legacies from our parents or grandparents. Therapy helps break cycles by encouraging intentional, conscious parenting rooted in awareness rather than reaction.
As a family therapist, I find that exploring cultural and generational differences is essential. These influences shape family dynamics, child development, and relationships. Effective therapy creates space to navigate differences with curiousity rather than judgment, fostering connection while honoring diverse perspectives.
–Rasa Motiejune, Leone Centre Individual, Couples and Family Therapist
When to Seek Help
You don’t need to wait for a crisis. Consider family, couples or individual therapy if:
- You find yourself in frequent misunderstandings with your parents or children
- Parenting feels like a battleground instead of a shared journey
- You or a family member feel torn between cultural expectations and personal values
- There is lingering resentment or emotional distance in the home
Final Thoughts
Therapy isn’t about erasing culture or assigning blame. It’s about creating bridges between worlds — old and new, traditional and modern.
At Leone Centre, we honour your story — all of it. With experienced therapists available for Individual, Couples and family therapy both in person in London and online, we’re here to help you write the next chapter, together.
Intergenerational conflict often arises not from a lack of love, but from a lack of shared language. Therapy helps create that language.
-Dr. Manveen Manshadi, Cross-cultural therapist
- About the Author
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Co-founder and director of Leone Centre, 20+ years of experience supporting people, and offering valuable knowledge through Couples Counselling and Individual Counselling. Before becoming a therapist, I worked in the financial sector.