Cristina Lorefice is a highly experienced therapist with over 15 years in the field. In this Q&A, she shares insights into her background, her integrative therapeutic approach, and her experiences as a practitioner
What inspired you to choose your career path as a therapist? Is it something you always felt drawn to?
I think it started when I personally began to receive counselling during a very challenging time in my life. I reflected on how I liked the process, how I was feeling and diving deeper into my emotions while gaining more awareness of my patterns and behaviours. That was the experience that triggered me to start considering becoming a counsellor myself.
I then had a personal experience when visiting Florence for a weekend and climbing the Giotto Campanile. As I was on my way down, I crossed paths with my therapist. Considering we both lived in London at the time, I took this chance meeting as a sign. I believe in synchronicity and when I saw him coming down the stairs, felt this coincidence was really telling me something. It was then that I started to look into the process to progress and study to become a counsellor.
The whole experience of therapy made me see how human beings can change. It gave me a lot of hope, not only for myself but for others as well. I saw that for those with mental health issues, as I myself went through a stage of being very depressed, there is a way, there is light, there is hope.
Have your multicultural experiences influenced your approach to therapy, and how?
They definitely have and I have travelled quite a lot in my life. I am half Austrian and half Italian, so as a child, I was going back and forth between Italy and Austria, which are two very different cultures. Being from the south of Italy, our temperament is very lively whereas Germanic culture is much more reserved. I was constantly swinging between the two and trying to adapt. I’ve also lived in America and Africa. I think that this has really helped me to be more attuned to how cultural background can shape a person’s identity and values and is something I am, therefore, quite sensitive to. I strive to be mindful of cultural sensitivity in my therapeutic approach.
An example of differing therapeutic approaches across cultures came from my time in America. When I lived in America, I noticed that people are generally much more proactive in their attitude to therapy and therapeutic practice there is more solution-focused. The American mindset is more geared towards a quick fix as opposed to doing the deep emotional work. By maintaining an awareness of cultural differences, I have developed a more flexible approach in my own practice, which is more fluid and holistic.
What is the most common issue you see in couples therapy? How do you help them address and overcome these?
I believe that the most common challenge couples face is when they have a breakdown in communication. The partners can feel misunderstood, unseen and unheard. I aim to guide them towards communicating their needs more effectively, coming to a place where they feel heard and have more empathy towards each other. Finding strategies to communicate their needs is important, as often there can be a build-up of resentment if we are not communicating effectively with each other.
I like to ask them to show me, first of all, how they actually communicate. I then use a strategy that is called ‘the Bridge’, a practice of active listening. I give them the opportunity to practice that in my session, in the here and now, so that they can create that same safe space back home. Often couples don’t directly get to practice active communication, active listening and communicating effectively. I aim to create a space where they can actually experience that. The hope is that they take this skill away with them, into the real world.
Sometimes I also like to add a little bit of laughter therapy, adding the element of laughter and just exploring each other’s playful side. Often there is a lot of resentment, and heavy feelings whereby partners feel misunderstood, and the playfulness helps to loosen up the issue, bringing a different perspective. When you become more open and playful, you can add some fun to a discussion, then all of a sudden, the issue has a different meaning. It can be looked at from a different angle.
I also help couples work through break ups, separation or divorce, to have a more conscious uncoupling. It is not always about keeping a couple together but sometimes questioning if and how they will go their separate ways. The aim is to achieve this in a way that is conscious and maintains the dignity of those involved.
How does a flexible and integrative approach to therapy help with this?
I think it’s really important to be attuned to the needs of the client or the couple. When you are able to be flexible and use an integrative approach, you’re more in the present, and more able to intuitively offer what the client needs. I use a person-centered approach and incorporate EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), solution focus or mindfulness based cognitive therapy in my sessions. My intuitive approach allows me to adapt therapy to the needs of the clients.
What are some of the most rewarding aspects of your work as a therapist?
It’s really humbling to be part of someone’s healing journey, to have people trust you and open up to you with their biggest fears and challenges. I don’t think words can really express the feeling, but to see how people can go from a place of, maybe despair, to a place of clarity and to witness the big breakthroughs that they may have whilst working together, that’s really rewarding.
What advice would you give to an individual or couple who is hesitant about seeking therapy?
I feel that they cannot really be convinced. You can’t advise those that are hesitant because if they feel this way, the session will be hesitant and it will be more challenging to move forward. They need to come to the decision themselves that therapy is something they want to pursue. There can be a lot of stigma around therapy, so I aim to make my clients feel at ease and to remind them that therapy is self-care. To help them understand that they are not there because something is wrong with them. They are taking care of themselves, and starting on a journey to find out who they really are. At the deepest level, therapy is self-development. My hope is to reassure them that in therapy you are offering a safe, supportive space for them to explore their issues.
You offer bilingual therapy in Italian as well as English, does this allow you to better understand and respond to the unique cultural and linguistic experiences of your clients?
Yes, I think it does. I think that language is deeply tied to culture. Being bilingual, it helps me to bridge that cultural and linguistic gap. In my experience, often clients are more at ease with their preferred language or their mother language, and it helps them to connect deeper to their emotions.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Co-founder and director of Leone Centre, 20+ years of experience supporting people, and offering valuable knowledge through Couples Counselling and Individual Counselling. Before becoming a therapist, I worked in the financial sector.
Get Started Today
with Leone Centre
BOOK NOW
Call us
020 3930 1007
View our therapists
Find your match