Self-Care During Menopause: Supporting Emotional Health And Well-being

Menopause: a natural (and inevitable) life phase where your body, with all the subtlety of a marching band, announces its intention to shift gears. Imagine it as a hormonal rollercoaster with an ever-surprising route, including sudden mood swings, unexpected temperature fluctuations, and the occasional “where did I put my keys” brain fog.

Yet, amid this upheaval, there is a silver lining. Menopause offers a unique opportunity to press the ‘refresh’ button on your life—a chance to step away from societal pressures, focus on what truly matters to you, and empower yourself to prioritise your needs.

So, in the spirit of surviving and thriving, let’s explore how to embrace this life phase head-on, armed with compassion and strength. The journey can be surprisingly empowering once you sidestep societal expectations and focus on what you need.

What is Menopause?

For those who are unsure, menopause marks the end of menstrual cycles and typically occurs between the ages of 45 and 55. It is often preceded by perimenopause, which can come knocking as early as your mid-30s. This transition often lasts several years, with the entire menopausal process sometimes even extending up to a full decade.

While experiences vary widely, it’s common to encounter a long list of physical and emotional symptoms during this time. These might include sudden mood swings, such as inexplicably tearing yourself up during a cat food commercial – or moments of self-doubt, such as grappling with imposter syndrome at work. You may ask yourself regularly, “Why on earth did I just feel (or do) that?”.

How Menopause Can Affect Emotional Health and Well-being

Mood swings, brain fog, random crying spells: some of the most overlooked symptoms of menopause are mental health related. Our usually reliable hormones – oestrogen and progesterone – start fluctuating, leaving you with the fallout. These hormonal shifts drastically influence our brain chemistry, affecting our resilience and emotional balance, which can result in:

Mood fluctuations: Feelings of irritability, anger, sadness, or even depression may arise unexpectedly, leaving you feeling hyper-sensitive or unlike your usual self.
Sleepless nights: Sleep disruptions are common, whether waking up at 3 a.m. for no apparent reason or staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Resulting in tiredness and often heightened emotional symptoms.
Brain fog: Concentration challenges and forgetfulness can lead to frustrating moments when your thoughts vanish into thin air, leaving you feeling frustrated or worried.
Changes in self-perception: Physical changes may shift how you view yourself, sparking self-doubt, decreased confidence, and an unsettling overall feeling that perhaps you don’t feel like yourself
Identity crises: The transition through menopause can lead to deeper questioning of one’s role, purpose, and sense of self, potentially triggering feelings of disconnection or a desire to redefine oneself during this stage of life.
Feelings of isolation: Experiencing these symptoms can feel isolating; others may not fully understand what you’re experiencing. However, it’s important to remember you are not alone—many others are experiencing the same challenges, and you can reach out for support.

Impact on Relationships and Work

Imagine you’re in a meeting. The room is comfortable at 21°C, yet you’re suddenly sweating like a heatwave. You’re “not feeling quite like yourself” (whoever that is at the moment), and suddenly, the thought of leading a presentation feels as daunting as climbing Everest. Sound familiar? It’s not you; it’s menopause.

Menopausal challenges can easily spill over into our relationships and work. Feelings of irritability or anxiety can strain our interactions, leading to misunderstandings or tension in personal and professional relationships. Addressing these challenges can feel overwhelming, especially as mood fluctuations are beyond your control – you can’t just “switch them off”.

Sometimes, the best approach is a little honesty: sharing what you’re experiencing and asking for understanding. While this isn’t always possible, exploring the possibility of a more flexible working arrangement can provide much-needed relief during this time.

Turning Menopause into an Empowering Phase of Self-Discovery

Though menopause has challenges, prioritising self-care and embracing self-compassion can transform this phrase into a beautiful and powerful opportunity for growth, self-discovery and renewal. This time can prompt us to fully consider and reconnect with who we are, what we need, what brings us joy, and what we’re willing to compromise.

Supporting Emotional Health During Menopause

Supporting your emotional health during menopause is essential. This time offers an opportunity to be gentle with yourself, pause, reflect, and focus on self-care and emotional health. If much of your life has been spent supporting others—children, partners, or parents—this is your time to prioritise yourself. Taking care of yourself is not just important—it’s necessary. Here are some ways to prioritise caring for yourself during this transition:

Self-Care: Make time to focus on your personal needs. Whether it’s a long bath, a quiet moment to yourself, or simply doing something you love, permit yourself to prioritise your well-being guilt-free.
Your Hormonal Health: Looking after your physical health through a balanced diet and practising good sleep hygiene can help balance hormone levels and ensure you’re getting enough rest to tackle everything else.
Movement: Physical activity, such as a gentle walk, yoga, or dancing, can all release feel-good endorphins and enhance one’s overall mood.
Creativity: Creative outlets like writing, painting, or playing music can provide a sense of fulfilment, offering an emotional release and an opportunity for self-expression.
Reasonable Adjustments at Work: If possible, have an open conversation with your management to request supportive, reasonable adjustments such as more flexible hours, remote or hybrid options, or access to temperature-adjustable rooms.
Talk it Out: Share your thoughts with a trusted loved one or a therapist. Talking isn’t just for crises; it’s for clarity and empathy. If you need someone experienced to talk to, a therapist can help unpack all the feelings that come with this phase in a safe, nonjudgmental space.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): For some, HRT can be transformative. Talk to your GP if you would like to explore this option.
Embrace Support: It feels good to know you’re not alone. Joining a support group provides a safe and judgment-free environment for sharing experiences with others who understand.
Be Kind (to yourself): You’ll feel off some days, and that’s okay—practice self-compassion by acknowledging these days or moments without inner judgment.
Mindfulness and Reflection: Set aside time for journaling, mindfulness, or quiet reflection. This can help you process emotions and find clarity.

“We go through menopause at a very busy time in our lives, and it can feel like ‘another thing to manage’! As this article suggests, therapy can help us manage the challenges, that such big changes in ourselves, bring about.”

“Sex may be the last thing on our minds as we navigate menopause and that’s alright. But, if sex is something that needs to be addressed, psychosexual therapy can help. We can address underlying concerns, fears and worries – the emotional side – as well as helping you find ways to address physical issues. Psychosexual therapists are unshockable, and we want to help you find ways that work, to enjoy sex.”

Martina Bador, Psychosexual Therapist at Leone Centre

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a space to untangle some of those deeper questions that menopause often brings. Who are you now? What does your ideal future look like? And most importantly, how are you supposed to keep it all together when everything changes? Therapy can help you rebuild, regroup, and maybe even discover renewed confidence.

No one should feel alone on this journey, and therapy can be a wonderful co-pilot for anyone seeking additional guidance. Leone Centre offers both individual and couples counselling for those experiencing menopause, with appointments available both online and in person in London.

About the Author
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Cristina Vrech

Co-founder and director of Leone Centre, 20+ years of experience supporting people, and offering valuable knowledge through Couples Counselling and Individual Counselling. Before becoming a therapist, I worked in the financial sector.