Why Do I Get Overwhelmed?

Modern life is filled with constant choices, demands, and distractions, all vying for our attention. The pressure to always be online and available, the demands of work and personal life, and the weight of global events can leave us feeling swamped by our emotions, outstanding tasks and obligations. If you find yourself frequently overwhelmed, know that you are not alone.

Repeatedly feeling overwhelmed can significantly impact our mental and emotional well-being, and it’s a challenge that many of us would like to overcome. By understanding where our stress stems from, we can learn to manage it and find greater peace of mind.

Causes of Overwhelm

Let’s explore some common reasons why we feel overwhelmed and how to begin addressing them.

Too Many Responsibilities

One of the most common explanations for feeling overwhelmed is that we have too much on our plate. When our professional, familial, social, or personal commitments exceed our capacity to handle them, it can be incredibly overwhelming. For many of us, trying to juggle too many obligations is one of the primary reasons for feeling overwhelmed.

Helpful Approaches:

Identify and focus on your most important or urgent tasks first.
Delegate tasks where possible
Remember, it’s ok to ask for help or support.
Breaking down bigger tasks into smaller actions can make them feel more manageable and less overwhelming.

Perfectionism and Unrealistic Expectations

Perfectionism and the pursuit of unrealistically high expectations cause us to put immense amounts of pressure on ourselves, which can lead to feelings of overwhelm. The fear of not meeting these expectations, of perceived failure and disappointment, or of letting others down can leave us feeling paralysed and struggling to even start. This can become a cycle where tasks continue to pile up and overwhelm us further.

Helpful Approaches:

Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself and establish realistic expectations that you feel confident you can meet.
Understand that completing a task is more important than doing it perfectly.
Accept that everybody makes mistakes and that they are perfectly normal and essential to the learning process.
Accept that perfection can’t be attained the first time. Improvements are made through trial and error, and they are far better than not trying.
Celebrate small wins and recognise your triumphs and mistakes as part of your progression.

Unresolved Emotions

Unresolved emotional issues, such as emotional suppression, past trauma, or unresolved conflicts, can sometimes contribute to feelings of overwhelm and reduce our ability to manage stress. Current events, obligations, and established roles in our professional and personal lives can trigger these unresolved issues, bringing them to the surface and further magnifying our overwhelm.

Helpful Approaches:

It can be very helpful to speak with a therapist who can provide you with a safe, confidential space in which to work through any unresolved emotions and past traumas that are still impacting your life. This allows you to explore and process your feelings, leading to a better understanding of their origin and how they impact you now. An experienced therapist can also provide you with specific tools and methods to help manage feelings and triggers so that they are less likely to overwhelm you.

Lack of Boundaries

The fear of saying “no” and setting appropriate, clear boundaries can lead to taking on more than we can handle. Our time and energy are not limitless resources; they should be managed to prevent us from being overwhelmed by taking on too much.

Helpful Approaches:

Practise self-awareness and learn to say “no” to any new requests you know will exceed your capacity.
Communicate limits clearly and consistently to others to prevent yourself from being overwhelmed.
Making your capacity clear to whoever you need to say no to can help cultivate empathy and understanding in that person, making setting boundaries less daunting. When you’re overwhelmed, you cannot give your full time, energy and effort to a task or obligation despite your best intentions.

Poor Time Management

When we struggle to manage our time, we can feel as if we’re constantly running behind and that everything we need to do is piling up with insufficient time to do it. Lack of organisation, procrastination and struggling to prioritise tasks can contribute to a stressful state of disarray. When we feel like we are not in control, the most minor task can feel insurmountable and overwhelming.

Helpful Approaches:

Take steps to develop time management skills. You can do this by using tools such as calendars and to-do lists and creating schedules that allow allotted time for each task to have your full attention.
Learn to prioritise tasks and recognise which ones don’t require your immediate attention.
In your schedule or daily routine, make sure to include time for breaks to recharge yourself and avoid burnout.

Lack of Self-Care

Neglecting self-care can be a great contributor to feeling overwhelmed. If we don’t take the time to rest, recharge, and take care of our physical and mental well-being, our resilience and ability to deal with stress decrease. This is very likely to increase our feelings of overwhelm. Understandably, if we are hungry and thirsty or haven’t taken a break in several hours, a new task can feel far more difficult.

Helpful Approaches:

Prioritise self-care in your daily routine. Activities that promote well-being and relaxation include exercise, meditation, creative pursuits, hobbies and spending time with friends and family.
Maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and regular meals will also help you handle stress and reduce overwhelm.

Overwhelm and Neurodivergence

Some overwhelm can be more prevalent and specific to certain forms of neurodivergence. For example, individuals with ADHD and autism may become overwhelmed when they are presented with heightened or too many sensual stimuli in their environment. Loud or conflicting sounds, harsh or flickering lighting, unfamiliar textures, people and even smells can leave neurodivergent individuals feeling overwhelmed by the influx of sensory information, no matter the task at hand.

Helpful Approaches:

Do your best to control the stimuli in your environment. Tools you can use are noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs, a clear, clean workspace and wearing comfortable clothes.
In a work environment with others, it can be helpful to let your manager and work colleagues know how best to accommodate you and understand that sometimes you may need to leave your desk to reset yourself. This communication is also helpful in social environments, which often have even more triggers for overwhelm.
Don’t be afraid to speak to friends and family about this so they know how to support you.

Seeking Professional Help

Professional support can be invaluable if your feelings of overwhelming persist and begin to disrupt your daily life. An experienced integrative therapist can provide guidance and support to help reduce and manage stress levels and uncover the root causes of your stress responses. At Leone Centre, we have many experienced therapists available for appointments both in person and online. They work with you to develop methods to boost your resilience and provide the emotional support needed to regain a sense of equilibrium.

Feeling overwhelmed is a common human experience, but it doesn’t have to define our lives. By understanding the root causes and implementing practical approaches, we can regain control and find a greater sense of balance. Remember, seeking support when needed is an act of self-care, helping us take the first step towards a calmer and more manageable existence.

About the Author
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Cristina Vrech

Co-founder and director of Leone Centre, 20+ years of experience supporting people, and offering valuable knowledge through Couples Counselling and Individual Counselling. Before becoming a therapist, I worked in the financial sector.