If you are a parent concerned about your child’s screen time, phone or tablet use, social media, concentration levels, or emotional wellbeing, you are not alone. Many families are seeking support around their children’s mental health, screen time addiction, online safety, anxiety, low mood, and behavioural changes linked to digital technology.
At Leone Centre, we offer professional support, including parenting counselling and family therapy, to improve communication at home and help with parenting around boundaries for healthier technology use.
On This Page
- Are You Worried About How Social Media Is Affecting Your Child?
- Is Social Media Changing Your Child’s Mental Health?
- Why Is Your Child’s Attention and Focus Changing?
- How Does Phone Use Affect Your Child’s Brain and Emotions?
- Why Does My Child Get So Emotional When I Ask Them to Put Their Phone Down?
- How Can Social Media Affect Eating Habits and Body Image?
- What Can You Do to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Today?
- What can you do about screen time as a parent?
- The “Non-Violent Resistance” Approach in Family Therapy
- ‘Wake Up Wednesday’ Online Support for Parents
- Are There Any Benefits to Phone Use for Children?
- How Can Counselling and Family Therapy Support You and Your Child?
- When Should You Seek Family Counselling for Support?
- When to seek professional support urgently
Are You Worried About How Social Media Is Affecting Your Child?
Parenting in a digital world is not something previous generations had to navigate in the same way. If it feels challenging, that’s because it is challenging.
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If you are feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or even guilty about your child’s phone or social media use, you are not alone.
Many parents come to counselling saying the same thing:
“I don’t know what’s normal anymore.”
You might notice your child:
- Asking for a phone or wanting more screen time
- Becoming irritable or withdrawn after being on their phone
- Struggling to switch off or stop scrolling
- Reacting strongly when screen time is limited
- Having more emotional outbursts or meltdowns around the phone
- Comparing themselves to others
- Experiencing disordered eating habits
- Feeling left out if they don’t have a phone
- Experiencing bullying online
- Losing interest in offline activities
These concerns are increasingly common, and they often bring parents into counselling. It’s important to remember that these things are happening because modern childhood is genuinely more complex than it used to be.
Is Social Media Changing Your Child’s Mental Health?
As your child gets older and as technology is more widely used, you may feel that something has shifted in your child’s emotional world, even if you cannot fully explain it.
Research shows that “anxiety is substantially more prevalent in Generation Z than in any of the past three generations.”
For Gen Alpha, lockdown during Covid accelerated the integration of smart devices into daily life, with schools increasingly relying on video conferencing, tablets, and online learning. As a result, technology became embedded in children’s routines at an earlier age than ever before.
“Generation Alpha’s habit of quick browsing, preference for brief responses, and inclination toward multitasking present challenges for developing critical thinking, which requires sustained focus, time, and attention to detail” (Drugaş, 2022; Gottschalk, 2019).
Research has highlighted that excessive screen time is linked to “reduced attention span, impaired sleep quality, delayed language development, and increased risk of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression” (Neophytou et al., 2021; Twenge & Campbell, 2018; Chen et al., 2024; Martínez et al., 2021).
Social media and online platforms may contribute to:
- Increased anxiety and low mood
- Lower self-esteem linked to comparison with peers
- Reduced attention span and difficulty regulating emotions
- Poor sleep quality
- Pressure to maintain a “perfect” online image
- Exposure to cyberbullying and social exclusion
- Increased vulnerability to self-harm and suicidal behaviours
- Eating difficulties and body image concerns
- Delays in language and social development
- Poorer academic engagement and performance
The World Health Organisation has highlighted a global rise in adolescent anxiety and depression, with digital environments recognised as one of several contributing factors alongside academic pressure, family stress, and wider social change.
In 2024, the WHO stated that social media use “has been shown to lead to depression, bullying, anxiety and poor academic performance.”
A meta-analysis of 13 longitudinal studies involving 43,489 youths found a significant link between screen-based activities and an increased risk of self-harm and suicidal behaviours (Chen et al., 2024).
In counselling, we can help parents step back from blame and start understanding what their child is experiencing emotionally, not just what they are doing behaviourally.
Systemic family therapy can be really helpful for issues around screen time and social media for children and teenagers. This can be a contentious and tricky area to parent.
Family therapy sessions promote communication and connection and provide a non blaming, and thoughtful way to have conversations with curiosity and build stronger family relationships.
– Lucy Roberston-Ritchie, Systemic Family Therapist at Leone Centre.
Why Is Your Child’s Attention and Focus Changing?
Many parents notice that their child struggles more with concentration than before. Homework takes longer, frustration builds more quickly, and “simple tasks” seem harder to complete.
This is often linked to how attention is shaped by digital environments:
- Constant switching between apps reduces focus
- Notifications train the brain to expect interruption
- Fast-paced content lowers tolerance for slower tasks
- Multitasking makes sustained concentration harder
This does not mean your child is “lazy” or “not trying.” It often reflects a brain adapting to high-stimulation environments.
It can feel like your child is “addicted” to their phone and, while not every child develops addictive patterns, many platforms are intentionally designed to hold attention for as long as possible.
They do this through:
- Likes, comments, and notifications that feel rewarding
- Infinite scrolling and autoplay features
- Algorithms that learn what keeps your child engaged
- Emotional content that triggers strong reactions
These systems activate reward pathways in the brain involving dopamine which is a chemical linked to motivation and reinforcement. Research in behavioural neuroscience, including studies published in journals such as Nature Human Behaviour, suggests that unpredictable reward systems are particularly powerful in shaping habitual behaviour.
For a developing brain, this can make switching off feel genuinely difficult, even when your child wants to.
In family counselling, we help you understand these patterns so you can respond with structure and support, rather than escalating conflict at home.
How Does Phone Use Affect Your Child’s Brain and Emotions?
Research suggests that highly stimulating digital environments may affect reward systems involved in motivation, reinforcement, and emotional regulation, which can contribute to irritability, impulsivity, and difficulty managing emotions.
Your child is still developing the parts of the brain responsible for self-control, emotional regulation, and decision-making.
This means that with too much phone use, they may experience:
- Big emotions that can come quickly and feel overwhelming
- Impulses that are harder to resist without support
- Calm, slower activities can feel less rewarding or even impossible after stimulation
- They rely heavily on you to help regulate and reset
When children are constantly exposed to high-reward digital content, everyday life can feel less engaging by comparison. This is often when parents start noticing more conflict, mood changes, or emotional intensity.
Why Does My Child Get So Emotional When I Ask Them to Put Their Phone Down?
For many children, coming off a device is not simply about stopping an activity; it often involves interrupting social connection, stimulation, entertainment, reward, and routine all at once. This can make transitions feel genuinely difficult.
Signs it may be worth paying closer attention include:
- Significant changes in sleep or appetite
- Withdrawal from friends or activities they previously enjoyed
- Extreme distress when devices are removed
- Persistent low mood, anxiety, or irritability
- Declining school engagement or functioning
Counselling can help you understand this not as “bad behaviour,” but as a regulation challenge that needs support.
“Adults struggle to manage their screen time and phone use so it is understandable that this is so much harder for children and young people.
It is key to have regular conversations with children and young people about what they are doing online and to look at safety and well being tools together.”
– Lucy Watney, Leone Centre Family Therapist.
How Can Social Media Affect Eating Habits and Body Image?
Social media platforms can expose children and teenagers to an unprecedented amount of appearance-focused content. Images are filtered, edited, curated, and often reinforced through algorithms that repeatedly show similar content based on previous engagement.
Because of this harmful content, children and young people may experience:
- Increased comparison with peers, influencers, and unrealistic beauty standards
- Greater pressure around appearance, body shape, or weight
- Increased dissatisfaction with their body image
- Exposure to dieting trends, restrictive eating advice, or harmful health misinformation
- Increased focus on calories, exercise, or physical appearance
It is important to remember that eating disorders and disordered eating are complex and rarely have a single cause. Genetics, personality, emotional wellbeing, family experiences, social environments, and life stressors can all play a role. Social media may not create these difficulties, but for some children it can amplify existing vulnerabilities.
Early signs of an eating disorder that requires treatment may include:
- Avoiding meals or becoming increasingly restrictive around food
- Increased anxiety about appearance, weight, or body shape
- Frequently weighing themselves or tracking calories
- Excessive exercise or rigid routines around food
- Frequently comparing themselves to others online
- Becoming distressed after taking photos or posting online
- Avoiding mirrors or excessively checking in mirrors
Learn more about eating disorders. At Leone Centre, we have a team of experienced family counsellors who can support families affected by eating disorders. In counselling, we often help parents move beyond focusing only on food or eating behaviours and instead understand what these behaviours may be communicating emotionally.
“Everyday family conflict around devices is not unusual, however, if this becomes excessive or the child is experiencing emotional distress or eating challenges then it may be helpful to consider therapeutic support.”
– Tonia Forster, Family Therapist at Leone Centre
What Can You Do to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Today?
Many parents worry they have “got it wrong” or introduced devices too early. In reality, most families are trying to navigate a rapidly changing digital world without clear guidance or previous generations to learn from.
Across the UK and beyond, there has been a significant increase in emotional and mental health difficulties among young people, including:
- Rising anxiety and depression
- Increased emotional dysregulation
- More sleep-related difficulties
- Higher demand for counselling and mental health services
The National Health Service has reported sustained increases in referrals to child and adolescent mental health services, reflecting both growing need and greater awareness.
The WHO explains that “the consequences of failing to address adolescent mental health conditions extend to adulthood, impairing both physical and mental health and limiting opportunities to lead fulfilling lives as adults.”
For parents, this can feel worrying, but it also means support services are increasingly recognising early intervention as key.
What can you do about screen time as a parent?
Some of the most helpful approaches include:
- Setting clear, predictable boundaries around screen time
- Creating device-free moments in the day (meals, bedtime, family time)
- Modelling healthy phone use yourself
- Staying curious about your child’s online world rather than reactive
- Supporting offline activities that help regulate mood and attention
Most importantly, your relationship with your child is still the strongest influence you have.
Technology may be part of modern childhood, but children still need the same things they always have: safety, connection, boundaries, understanding, and relationships that help them feel secure. If phone use, social media, or emotional wellbeing are affecting family life, you do not have to work through it alone.
Can you fully control what your child sees online?
Many parents are concerned about what their child is being exposed to online, and rightly so.
Children may encounter:
- Sexualised or violent content
- Unrealistic body standards and appearance pressure
- Distorted ideas about relationships and identity
- Social comparison that affects self-worth
- Concerning or polarising opinions
- Misogyny, racism and bigotry
- Misinformation with intent to create fear
These experiences can affect how your child sees themselves, the world, and others: secretly, silently, without any parenting input.
Because this content is readily accessible on almost any device, it is difficult to fully control what your child sees online. Monitoring and restrictions may reduce risk, but they cannot remove it entirely.
And even if your child does not have unrestricted access themselves, peers may. Content, conversations, videos, and ideas are often shared between children online and offline.
This means that alongside boundaries and safety settings, helping children build critical thinking, emotional awareness, and confidence to talk openly about what they encounter becomes equally important.
In counselling, we often support parents in investigating what they may have seen online and in learning how to talk about these topics in a way that feels safe, calm, and age-appropriate.
The “Non-Violent Resistance” Approach in Family Therapy
As well as looking at healthy boundaries around device use, therapy looks at the emotional patterns underneath what your child needs, and what you as a parent are carrying too.
One of our highly experiences family therapists, Rasa Motiejune, shares that “Family Therapy with a Non‑Violent Resistance lens offers a helpful framework for reducing conflict around phone use.”
Instead of reacting in the moment or entering power struggles, parents learn how to adopt a calm, persistent presence that de‑escalates tension and sets clear, non‑punitive boundaries.
Through announcements, small achievable steps, and the support of others, parents communicate their commitment to addressing specific phone‑related behaviours without threats or force. This approach reduces secrecy, lowers reactivity, and strengthens connection, creating a safer relational climate in which phone use can be negotiated more constructively.
-Rasa Moteijune, Family Therapist at Leone Centre
‘Wake Up Wednesday’ Online Support for Parents
Wake Up Wednesday is a national campaign that provides information, advice, and resources to help parents, carers, and trusted adults understand both the risks and benefits of children’s online activity.
Originally launched in 2018, the campaign produces free weekly guides covering a wide range of topics, including social media, school avoidance, managing device-related stress and anxiety, and many other issues affecting children and young people
You can access the full library of free resources here: Library | The National College
Are There Any Benefits to Phone Use for Children?
It is important to remember that not all screen time is the same. Video calling grandparents, educational content, gaming with friends, creative activities, and passive scrolling may all affect children differently. The goal is not to remove technology completely, but to understand how it is affecting your child.
The risks of phone use vary depending on content, context, and frequency of use. Some research suggests that structured digital use can support learning when it involves high-quality, age-appropriate educational content. (Hirsh-Pasek et al., 2015; Swargiary, 2024), However, benefits appear strongest when digital activities are interactive, purposeful, and supported by adults rather than passive consumption.
Research suggests educational apps are most effective when they encourage active participation, meaningful engagement, and social interaction rather than repetitive tapping or entertainment-focused content.
The challenge for parents is balancing potential educational benefits with children’s broader developmental needs, including sleep, movement, play, social interaction, and offline learning experiences.
How Can Counselling and Family Therapy Support You and Your Child?
If you are reading this and feeling a mix of concern, frustration, or uncertainty, counselling can give you space to make sense of it all without judgement.
Family therapy can help you and your child by:
- Reducing conflict around phone use and boundaries
- Improving communication at home
- Helping you understand what your child is communicating through behaviour
- Supporting emotional regulation for both parent and child
- Rebuilding connection when things feel tense or distant
- Establish holding boundaries together
As well as looking at healthy boundaries around device use, therapy looks at the emotional patterns underneath what your child needs, and what you as a parent are carrying too.
At Leone Centre, we have a team of highly experienced family, couples, and individual therapists available both online and in-person in London.
When Should You Seek Family Counselling for Support?
Family counselling can be supportive for all families during any times of difficulty, conflict, or uncertainty to improve communication and promote healthy relationships between family members.
It may be helpful to consider counselling if:
- Technology use is creating ongoing conflict at home
- Your child seems more anxious, withdrawn, or irritable
- Sleep or school performance is being affected
- You feel stuck, unsure, or overwhelmed as a parent
- Communication with your child feels difficult or tense
You do not need to wait until things feel unmanageable. Early support often leads to quicker, more sustainable change.
Parenting in this digital age is challenging, and you are not alone.
Counselling and family therapy can give you a space to slow things down, understand what is happening in your child’s world, and find a way forward that supports both structure and connection.
If you are worried about your child’s social media use, emotional wellbeing, or behaviour, support is available.
When to seek professional support urgently
Seek professional advice promptly if your child:
- Talks about wanting to die or harm themselves
- Is self-harming
- Shows signs of an eating disorder
- Experiences severe bullying or online exploitation
- Becomes socially isolated for prolonged periods
- Has significant changes in sleep, eating or functioning
- Refuses school for an extended period
- Appears persistently depressed or anxious
Additional Resources:
Childline – staying safe online: https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/staying-safe-online/
- About the Author
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Co-founder and director of Leone Centre, 20+ years of experience supporting people, and offering valuable knowledge through Couples Counselling and Individual Counselling. Before becoming a therapist, I worked in the financial sector.